A Talk With God

"If you would just stop talking
you might hear what I'm saying."
That's what God was telling me
last night when I was praying.
"Don't worry about prince charming,
you will fall in love someday.
I'm just waiting for the right moment
to send that special boy your way.
Please don't fret about the future,
I have everything worked through.
If you would just be patient
I'll make all your dreams come true.
Don't forget to read the Bible,
that's how you'll know what you should do.
And please continue praying,
I really like talking to you."
I was really trying to listen,
trying to soak up God's sweet grace.
Then I realized this conversation
was about Him putting me in my place.
He told me that He loves me
and that i'm making Him so proud.
He kissed my forehead and whispered,
"Just start loving me out loud."

nerves.

I hate being nervous, yet at the same time, I like it. I like the feeling of getting butterflies in my stomach and not knowing what's going to happen next. It freaks me out to be unable to predict the future, but i'm amazed at the fact that I don't have to worry about it because God has my entire life already planned out for me. Speaking of God, I love him. He has been showing me His love in the most amazingly bizarre ways lately. For example, I taught a cheer camp earlier this week with Logan. It was out in the middle of nowhere (seriously, there was no cell service and most of them didn't have internet). I followed Logan there, but had to leave early and drive home by myself on Wednesday. I had my brother's GPS and my daddy's car, so everything was sweet. The weather was yucky all morning, but I wasn't too worried because it was only sprinkling when I started my trip home. Not even 15 minutes after leaving the school, it started pouring. Being the baby that I am, I am so scared of driving in the rain. I don't know why, but it just really freaks me out. So I was starting to get nervous. While freaking out about the fact that it was raining so hard, I missed a turn because i'm an idiot and had the radio on louder than the GPS. So here I am, driving in the middle of nowhere with no clue as to where I am, and the battery on the GPS dies. I seriously started crying. I was so scared. I honestly thought that I was going to hydroplane, slide off the road, and die there because there was no cell phone service or civilization. (I know, i'm a freak, I can't help it.) The only thing I could think of to do was pray. With my hands gripping the steering wheel so hard that my knuckles were turning white, I asked God to keep me safe. I told Him that I was scared and that I didn't know where I was. I begged Him to protect me and guide me home. God answers prayers. I am not even kidding you...as I said amen, the rain stopped. The sun started shining. And my GPS turned back on! Please tell me that was not God working first-hand. I was just like, wow God, thanks! I know i'm probably more dramatic than most people and normal 20-year-olds would not find rain and a dead GPS a big deal...but it was a big deal for me. The fact that God was RIGHT THERE is huge! I wasn't dying. I probably would have made it home fine. But God helped me. He calmed my fears and answered my prayer RIGHT AWAY. He is just so good to me, and has been showing me all summer that He's here. He always has been, and He always will be. So I guess to tie this whole post together...I like being nervous, because I like when God calms my nerves. Like right now, I am getting super nervous for my fantana contest. Top ten finalists will probably be announced sometime next week, and I want with all of my heart to be included in one of those ten spots. But I know that my nervousness isn't going to change anything. If God wants it to happen, He's going to make it happen. That's why He is so good.

I love God because He always knows how to calm my fears and nerves.

What's It Like?

When I was eight years old, my grandma passed away. She was my best friend. Twelve years later, I still cry myself to sleep sometimes because I miss her so much. I was thinking the other night about what it would be like if I could see my grandma again. That would legit be the highlight of my summer. So as I was crying about how much I miss that beautiful lady, I decided to write down what I was thinking. After a few minutes, this is what I came up with. I hope you like it, and I hope she's proud.


What's It Like?

Are there really holes in Heaven's floor?
Are the streets all paved with gold?
Are you really watching over me,
Or is that just what i'm told?
Can you hear me when I talk to you?
Do you remember who I am?
Is everyone laid back and quiet
Or do angels like to jam?
Have you ever hugged an angel?
What's it like to feel no pain?
Is it true your tears are falling
every time it starts to rain?
Have you ever touched the pearly gates?
Do you get to sit at Jesus' feet?
Do you think that God will like me
when we finally get to meet?
Is it hot or is it cold?
Have you ever seen God mad?
Can you feel hugs in Heaven?
Do you ever call God dad?
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Can younger angels ride a bike?
I have so many things to ask you.
Grandma, tell me, what's it like?

summa summa summa time

That means that it's summer. lol Okay, so I made this blog becasue I like to write and share my feelings and stuff, but then I wrote two blogs and quit. But guess what....i'm baaaaaack! (If you knew me, you would know that I was singing the word back in that certain way that I randomly sing different words.) Anyways, I like to write poetry. I've shared some of my poems with people on facebook and the random people who read my myspace blogs, but I want to share it with the world. I want someone to read one of my poems and be like, woah. Ya know? I wish that there was a person out there who has no idea who I am who could read one of my poems and just know exactly how I feel. Maybe it could help someone out, or make them think or smile. So I decided that i'm going to get over my fear of people hating my poetry and share it with the world. You know, if anyone ever reads this. So i'll post one tonight and then try to post a new one every few days or so...whenever I feel so moved. The first few will probably just be blogs i've already posted on facebook and myspace, but then i'll add new ones. I'm starting to print them out, because I would like to one day make a book of all of my poems so that people can read them whenever they want.

You know what else I would like to do? Be the fourth fantana! And guess what? I'm in a national contest to do so! Whoop whoo!! So, if you're reading this, help make one of my dreams come true!! Go to www.fanta.com and search for my video (stefanixojune) and give it 5 stars. You can rate it every single day through August 4th. I need to be in the top 10 rated videos so that I can move on and be in the finalist round. I seriously want to win this sooo much! If you help me, I will love you forever. Then again, i'll probably love you either way because I just like people...but i'd appreciate it more if you helped me out. =)