freaking out.

Fanta rating is officially over. Finalists find out if they made it into the top ten 'on or around' August 7th, which is Friday. I know I shouldn't be freaking out so much, but I really want this. this could legit be the first step in making my dreams come true. Regardless of what happens, this contest really has been a great experience for me. It has shown me that I have such an amazing support system and that there are people out there who are rooting for me all the way. I've learned that sometimes people will say the most ridiculous things about you, whether they know you or not. That part doesn't bother me too much, which is kind of surprising. When I got called plus-sized and overweight and annoying...I couldn't help but laugh. I realize that I am not stick-skinny, but I am in no way whatsoever plus-sized. I am not going to fall into the trap of having someone call me fat and then all of the sudden become self-conscious and depressed....that's totally not me. Anyways, this summer God pretty much slapped me in the face and said: "Yo girl, I got this." I'm trying really hard to have faith in that, and I do. I know that it's no use getting all worked up and worried, because it's at the point where there is really nothing that I can do right now. Rating is over. I have 25 points so far because of the average of stars I got. The only thing that is happening at this point is that the judges are going to be watching every video and giving points (up to 75) for a variety of qualities. It's not up to me. It's up to the judges, and it is up to God. If this is the path that He wants me to go down, He is going to put me through to the top ten. I just need to trust that no matter what happens, it is all in His hands. I'm praying that his plans include me winning this contest, but if that's not the case, i'm sure He'll show me another way. I trust Him. I know that He is going to do what's best for me. However, I am still going to be freaking out until we find out who the top ten contestants are. I can't help it...it's human nature. =)