I'M NOT SCARED.

It is 1am on Monday, July 5th. I am leaving for the airport saturday morning, july 10th. Normally, I would be freaking out...but i'm not.

Over the past few months, I have been incredibly nervous about going on this mission trip. Not the actual traveling part (i'm excited to just see an airplane up close, let alone fly in one), but the ministry part. I was afraid that I was going to mess something up or break something. I thought that I wasn't going to be good enough at whatever we do down there. My brain kept saying 'what if the people don't like me' and 'somethings gonna go wrong' and other obnoxious things. Not anymore.

I've been praying about this trip for a long time, but I recently began praying for more than safety and finances and general mission stuff. I've really been asking God to prepare my heart for this experience and, as always, He has come through. On Wednesday, I went to Round Lake to visit some of my Connect loves, and just like every single time I go to that place, God really hit home in my heart. I know that it was His plan for me to be there that day, and I am so thankful. The very first video of the night made me tear up, and every single thing during the service was like God talking directly to me. The video was about God wanting to chisel away all of the unneccessary things in this guy's life and the guy keeps interrupting HIm and finally just says 'i'm scared of what you'll find underneath'. It just brought tears to my eyes because that is so true for so many people. How many of us are hiding behind false personalities or bad friends or fancy clothes or whatever your mask may be...because we are afraid? Because we think that without all of that stuff, we are not good enough? It just makes me sad that we have come to a time in society where money and image and materials are more important to people than faith and love and honesty. What happened to purity, ya know? After the video, every song was for me and my heart and my situation. I know that, because I felt it. I felt God standing next to me, with His hand on my shoulder, catching my tears before they fell. That is love, and that is God. Then the speaker began discussing WWJD and why you shouldn't live by that. At first i'm like, ummm hello?! We definitely wanna do what Jesus would do, right? But after he started explaining it, I changed to, 'dude that makes so much sense!' Here I am, insignificant on my own, trying to do whatever it is I think Jesus would have done if He were me. But what am I? Nothing. I cannot be like Jesus. But I can let Jesus be Himself and shine through me. That's the thing, it's not so much that we shouldn't want to be like Jesus...we just shouldn't try to be our version of Jesus. We need to let Him into our hearts and our souls and our minds and let Him just be Himself through us.

So i'm not scared anymore. I'm not afraid that i'm going to mess up, because i'm just gonna let God do His thing. I'm going to go to Peru, and let Jesus use me to love those precious little kids. I'm going to let Him use me to spread hope and faith and love to anyone who is willing to receive it. I'm just going to let Him use me for whatever He needs...in Peru and for the rest of my life.

Tonight, something drew me to the book of Ephesians. After reading it, I decided to share my favorite verses from each chapter. I hope they touch your heart, in some way, as they did mine. And if you are reading this, thank you. God bless you. <3



Ephesians 1:11-12 In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 3:16-19 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord's people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Ephesians 5:1-2 1 Follow God's example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Ephesians 6:7 Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, 8 because you know that the Lord will reward each one of you for whatever good you do, whether you are slave or free.


peaceandlove<3